Stoicism teaches that events themselves are neutral. What unsettles us is not what happens, but the meaning we attach to it. When we learn to examine that meaning, we regain choice — and with it, resilience.

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This principle has been a steady guide throughout my life. In moments of pressure, uncertainty, or disruption, the work has rarely been about changing circumstances. It has been about noticing the story forming in my mind — and deciding whether it deserved my belief.

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In professional life, this meant responding to complexity without internalising stress. Setbacks, delays, and conflicting demands were inevitable. Reframing them as information rather than threats allowed clarity to replace reaction, and solutions to emerge where frustration might otherwise have taken hold.

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The same principle applied during periods of transition. Stepping away from structured roles and familiar identities brought uncertainty, but also freedom. By reframing change as space rather than loss, new forms of creativity, connection, and purpose became possible.

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Grief deepened this lesson further. Loss cannot be reframed away — but suffering can be shaped by how meaning is held. Focusing on love shared, gratitude felt, and presence honoured made it possible to carry pain without being consumed by it. Reframing did not remove grief; it allowed dignity, reflection, and continuity alongside it.

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Practices such as mindfulness, breathwork, and self-inquiry reinforced the same truth: thoughts are not commands. Perspective can be chosen. Interpretation can be softened. In that space, resilience grows naturally.

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As Marcus Aurelius reminds us, the power to revoke unhelpful judgements is always available.

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When we change how we see an event,

we change how we live with it.

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